desperate for change

Recently I have been asked about my success with women. This appears to be a hot topic, no matter whether you’re male or female. Heck, even my female friends who are already in a relationship want to know about my love life. I guess it’s the equivalent of the guys talking about their recreational league hockey games.

Anyhow, this is a vast subject with many dimensions and approaches:

• What is my model for love? How do we fall in love and get into relationships?
• How does attraction work?
• Where should I go meet women?
• Should I learn anything from David DeAngelo?
• How does ladder theory work and what if I want to be friends with women anyways?

While these are all good questions and I will address these in future posts, I would ultimately say that dating success comes down to three things (assuming that you’re a younger version of myself):

1. You must continually improve yourself, especially if you are still in school, or fresh out of school. Specifically, this means things like going to Toastmasters to work on your communications skills and learn to project confidence. Going to church to work on your spiritual self. Working out so that you are physically in good shape. Take classes at the adult education school (I recommend VSB night classes if you’re from Vancouver). While any renaissance man should be working on these things anyways, it is also important to recognize that people will notice and be attracted to the strength and depth that you have built up for yourself.
2. You must create opportunities to meet women. Participating in said activities alone will give you lots of chances. Some women like to have a chance to observe their potential mate quietly over a period of time before deciding. As well, get the word out to your friends; friends of friends is a classic way to get hooked up. Remember, ask for emails, phone numbers and Facebook adds.
3. You must not be afraid to get hurt. “Human beings… handle with care.” If I need to elaborate on this for you, then you clearly are some kind of robot. And when you do get hurt, give me a call and we’ll go for a stiff drink. (Notice that I say when, and not if.) Getting rejected is no fun, but you’re now free to hunt for the next potential mate.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. Ultimately, humans have been doing this for quite a while now with pretty decent success so it’s not really rocket science. Just go out and try it; see what works and see what doesn’t.

Tags: Dating, tips

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 3rd, 2007 at 12:50 am and is filed under Dating. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.