Softball: Second and Third
If this is your first time with my softball theory, please do check out my introduction post and yesterday’s post about first base.
Today, let’s start with 2nd base. I defined it as: talking about money, sex, religion, politics and other normally taboo topics. If you’re still a teenager, you’re essentially playing Truth-or-Dare.
This usually starts with one side asking a deeply probing question, of the most taboo variety. For example, the girl might ask something along the lines of, what kind of porn to you prefer to indulge in when you’re on your computer late at night? No freaking way I would answer that, even after a couple of beers. You get the idea.
- Asking and answering these types of the question raises the heart rate. It increases the excitement for both the asker and the answerer.
- It pushes the level of trust and comfort on both sides. This is the mental emotional equivalent of physically getting closer and more intimate.
- It shows your confidence, because you can only talk like this if you are confident about yourself. Or you are totally shameless, but who’s judging anyways?
- This is a lower risk way to see if there is a chance at developing into a serious relationship than straight up asking straight up. If she doesn’t want to ask or answer these types of questions, then she doesn’t want you in the way that you want.
- If you don’t trust her enough to talk this way, then you really don’t trust her. Do not force it if those are your feelings. You have to trust your gut when it comes to these things. (We will cover gut feelings and intuition in future posts.)
Sometimes it is the woman initiating. Sometimes it is the man. The important thing is that you have use your judgement as to when the time is right to get into this type of discussion. You should understand that these are things that you would normally not discuss with just anybody. This is a shortcut path into each other’s trusted inner circle. The proper lingo for this is oversharing and it works wonders.
One thing when you’re doing as you reveal secrets about each other is that both sides have to be totally honest with each other. If you are unable to be truthful with each other, you are going to be in a world of hurt one of these days. Heck, if you are unable to be truthful with yourself, you are already in trouble.
Third base is a natural extension of second base, but it is a very specific line of discussion. The normal rule of never-talking-about-exes is there for normal dates because this kind of talk usually bring back sad and hurt memories. However, if you are going to be involved in a relationship with a person, you have to know where each other is at. Namely, are both of you at a point where you are ready for a relationship? The Truth-or-Dare line of questioning is essentially icebreaking your way to deeper and more serious discussion, of the kind that would lead you to a real relationship.
