I probably come across as a pretty scary person
I’ve been doing some thinking lately (a dangerous thing, I know) and some random readings online. In particular, I’ve been reading up on the INTJ personality type. And yes, I come out as an INTJ in 9 out of 10 personality tests.
It has suddenly occurred to me how some people are able to get much more favourable reaction from random strangers than I can. I knew it is probably about the way I come across and/or way I present myself. I think that one of the more negative INTJ traits is that they tend to not enjoy “pointless” smalltalk and don’t give praise so easily. In short, INTJ is all business, all the time.
So the next obvious thing is to google for “INTJ” and “scary.” Lo and behold, I found an interesting post that summaries the various INxx personalities. The descriptions that the writer came up with for the different personalities is based on her observations of the discussions in personality specific forums. I totally laugh out loud at INTJ responses in these forums – because they come across totally rude yet, are totally right on the money.
Personally, I do fluctuate away from the INTJ profile depending on my mood, weather and amount of sleep. For experimental purposes in the past, I have deliberately tried to push as far away from the INTJ as possible and I seem to be able to come across as “more fun.” I have even considered that being friendly (at just the right amount) for the sake of getting a positive reaction is also optimizing the outcome of a situation (which is a totally INTJ calculating thing to do). At which point, I am no longer able to carry that line of thinking. So, I stop before my brain explodes.
I think that it’s just easier to be me-me; even if it means coming across as a scary person 90% of the time. But for those of you that know me personally, I’ll remember to be a bit nicer.
May 16th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
I think I used to be like that, too, scary to the person I’m talking to. I had this intense need to make every interaction jam-packed and informative, primarily for myself. I eschewed smalltalk (I still HATE talking about the weather). Like you, I tested INTJ as well, in a 100+ question test so I believe it. (I thought I was ENTJ by my own administered test but I’m actually “I” and not “E”, by far.) Then came The Great Mellowing. I chilled out for the most part in my mid-20s. I prioritized and my family became the most important thing to me. Then school, then friends. Previously, I think I was on “High” for every part of life.