desperate for change

I don’t know why I seem to attract people who have lost their way. Am I approachable  or do I look like I know where I am going?

So at lunch time today, I was just leaving Brentwood Mall when I was approached by a man in the parking lot. If you have to ask me to describe how he looks, I would say that he reminds me of Cypher from the Matrix – so much so that I wondered if he is going to turn me over to the machines. He seemed friendly so I figured that there would be no harm talking to him.

He was asking for directions to Champlain Mall and apparently his GPS wasn’t able to give him the directions. I am a visual guy so I ended up drawing a map on an index card and talked him through the right/left turns needed. (Yeah, I just happen to carry index cards with me – inspired by the Hipster PDA.)

Is there any point to this story? 

Honestly, I had a tingle of “fight-or-flight” when he first approached me. I guess that it is an automatic reaction built into my system to keep my safe from the boogeyman gangsters in our city. I wasn’t panicking or anything but his looking like Cypher probably didn’t help.

I think that I have always had a bit of FoF response whenever I get approached by strangers. Because I don’t want to provoke an FoF response in other people, I tend not to be so much an initiator in social situations. This is really just plain silly and I should reprogram myself (or de-program if you want to look at it from a different perspective). It probably doesn’t help that my job involves sitting quietly in front of a computer and I am on the computer again when I get home.

Question: is social skills atrophy an issue in the software industry? I know it doesn’t affect everyone to the same degree but I am pretty certain that it can take its toll. I just might have to join Toastmasters again or something to get my mouth moving.

So I went to church last Sunday; a friend invited me to go. For the last while, I seem to be on a roll of getting out there and doing different things so accepting the invitation was only natural. It’s been a while since I’ve gone and it felt right being there, even if I am not the enthusiastic, Jesus loving, happy-happy believer I once was, once upon a time.

I thought about not mentioning this at all on my blog. I mean, for most people, religon is a pretty private matter. It’s right up there with talking about personal finances, sex, and medical issues. Why is it so hard to just come right out and say it? Try this quote on for size:

“Startlingly, this great sceptic, this non-guru who believes in nothing, is still a practising Christian.” -Times Online article on Nassim Taleb.

I came across an article on Nassim Taleb, of the Black Swan fame. The tone of the writer shows how harshly one is judged based on one’s religious beliefs, especially in the context of how it affects our job. If you are a politican these days, your religious beliefs could potentially make or break you, depending on what kind of mood the press is in.

I wonder if people gave Pascal a hard time?

Last summer, I started a conversation with a stranger at a random social gathering. At the time I was searching and I was willing to take suggestions from just about anybody. By the end of the night, the man (who was in a drunken stupor at this point) said this to me: “I’m sorry Alfred, I can’t tell you what to do with your life.” It was the truth. It is up to me to decide what is good and right for me, no matter what other people say. As helpful as this man wanted to be, he wasn’t in the position to call the shots for me.

I wouldn’t say that going to church is an unbeaten path, but I am interested in seeing where it takes me.