On My Own – Day 365
It was exactly one year ago that I moved out on my own into “the bunker” i.e. the basement suite being a “mortgage helper”. (See my day 24 report here.) I am pleased to announce that I am still alive and kicking and have not acquired significantly more material junk. I am in a reflective mood. Think of this as my year in review:
- I have met women who say that they would absolutely not date a guy who is still living at home. I think that this line of thinking is rather narrow and is not really as mainstream as I originally thought; pretty much all my high-school guy friends lived at home until they got married. This is definitely not a factor in relationship and dating success.
- Related to the previous point: While I (aged 33) feel more confident and is more attractive than my younger self (say aged 23), I honestly have not matured emotionally to handle relationships. However, I think that I am starting to have a much better understanding of my weakness (tendency to fall too hard, too fast, too easily). I instinctively know this and watch myself but I can’t save myself every single time. Dear friends, as a plea to you, please smack me hard if you see me starting to get crazy.
- Related to previous point: I think this is precisely why I don’t like social dancing too much (except with my people I already know). On the other hand, I really enjoy the proper structure and routine of a regular dance class.
- The economic conditions are getting hella scary. Because I am month-to-month with my landlord, I plan to talk to him and move out at the end of April. Yes, moving back home. Mom will be thrilled.
- I think that the non-car lifestyle is having an adverse effect on my social skills atrophy. I don’t go out and see friends as much as before. Part of the moving back home plan would involve me eventually getting a car again. And I really need to see real humans more often.
- I have become a pickier eater than before. Eating my own cooking has warped my appetite. (Cooking and preparing meat is a real hassle.) I think that my body is starting to become vegetarian and is starting to reject meat on some occasions.
- I think that in the last years or so, I have gotten arrogant in my ways; it is hard to describe but it wasn’t obvious until I mess up big time. I am going to try to embrace a more humble point of view. Instead of comparing my strengths to other people’s weaknesses, it is more educational to compare my weaknesses to other people’s strengths. The former is about self-satisfaction; the latter is about growth and learning. As much as I want to be some kind of self-help guru, I am not even close. However, I feel that my messing up can minimally serve as an example of what not to do. In that regard, I think that there is some value in my writings.
- I am happy and grateful for good friends and family, for being employed in this economic climate, for dancing, for Internets, for a life that’s really not too shabby when you look at the glass half-full. I am definitely grateful for life lessons – certainly makes for more interesting blog posts.
While this hasn’t exactly been a Walden kind of adventure, the last 365 days have been interesting. What new adventures will the next 365 days bring?
