desperate for change

A lot of my techie friends and co-workers are disappointed with the iPad. They were hoping for a MacBook with the keyboard trimmed off; not a giant sized iPhone.

In case you haven’t seen it, here is a more passionate response: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQnT0zp8Ya4

Mark Cuban has a very different point of view of the device than anyone I’ve seen. Rather than whining about the shortcomings, he is able to see all kinds of possibilities. Okay question – for those of you who have young children, are you giving your kid your iPhone to play with while you are busy pushing the grocery cart at Safeway? I have seen this before not just at the store but also in restaurants – as something to keep the kid occupied. Parents are willing to spend spend spend when it comes to improving the lives of their kids. Perhaps there is something here.

Let us step back for a second: the techies see this as a disappointment, yet Mister Cuban is able to look at the possibilities. Is this the difference between the average person versus someone who is a successful businessman?

As a nerdy geeky techie, we (and I specifically) are more naturally comfortable with factual things. We are most comfortable with one point of view of the world – our view. In order to go beyond, we need to be able to see things from more than one point of view. Specifically, it is precisely when you are feeling negative about something, that is when it is the best time to try on the “Yellow Hat“.

I was in the UBC BizzComm Club back when I was doing my masters and there was a seminar offered where the Thinking Hats system was introduced to us. We actually tried out the different “Hats” and tried to see something from the different point of views. It was interesting how some people’s opinions were so strong and entrenched that they were not giving all the hats a fair chance – in particular the “Yellow Hat” of positive points, when they have already decided on the opposite point of view.

Being objective is easy – because you are dealing with facts. But being able to force yourself to try out different points of view just for the sake of seeing things differently – it is truly a challenging exercise. If you weren’t thrilled about the iPad, can you think of something positive about the product in ways that it can make your life better? What ideas do you have about the iPad when you have the Yellow Hat on?

I came across this particularly insightful essay entitled “Social tips for geeks.” I am not insulted at all because this is something I can improve on. In fact, I am quite surprised at the accurate observations.

I love item #4.

Try to talk as little as possible, and when you do speak, only ask superficial questions

Given how I feel about small talk, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to do it just to make everyone feel comfortable. Especially when I bump into the sales guys in the office kitchen.

I don’t think that I was always like this. I swear I was much friendlier and outgoing back in high school than I am these days, despite my nerdy interests like reading, computers and chess. Somewhere along the way I developed this mildly anti-social interaction patterns.

By the way if you enjoyed that particular essay by the author Philip Guo, he has a whole bunch of other wonderful gems:

Attention: Overbearing Asian Parents – There are actually quite a few more posts on his website about this subject.

Some tips for life – All the things I wonder about life in one convenient serving.

Types of Friends – If I blow you off, it’s cause you’re lower on the totem pole. Sorry. This is a pretty taboo topic to be writing about if you think about it.

I like the preciseness of the writing, probably because of my nerdy academic background. And I like how he goes right into tacking some pretty difficult subjects such as the ones in the articles I picked out. I may not wish to write in his style, but one day, I sure would like to be able to write with as much impact as he has.

I read a ton of stuff on the Internet. Sometimes something I read clicks with something that comes up in conversation. When the click happens, I can’t remember where I read this and that. But anyways…

The article or blog post that I was reading was talking about how friendships develop. It talks about how when growing up, our friends and social circle is determined by the institutions that we belonged to, namely schools. Whether it be elementary school, high school or university, you make friends with the people in your classes. Your commonality with the friends made in this era was mostly the fact that you take the same bus together and make fun of a certain science teacher.

What happens when you graduate and move on from school? Some friendships can endure the transition and grow together with you. Some friendships grow apart as we all find our own path and institutions.

The article (the reference to which I can’t remember), mentions that as adults, we are and should no longer be bound by our institutions and we should be able to find and keep the friends who we really really like and enjoy, rather than just make friends just based on the circumstances of being in the same math class. I mean, who really enjoys math anyways? Okay I DO I DO, *hand shoots up*. Well, after Computer Science classes that is.

I think that part of growing up and growing old is this natural ebb and flow of people in our lives. In small villages where life is more static, this is less so. But in a modern city, especially with the ever prevalent job-changing (by choice or not), people will come into our lives as well as fade from importance. I personally feel guilty about the latter: suddenly one day you are having coffee in the morning and then you think of someone you haven’t talked to in a long time. Then you suddenly have an awkward feeling about being out of touch for so long. You feel so awkward that you can’t bring yourself to pick up the phone or hit send on the email.

Or at least that’s how I feel.

Now let me tell you what it’s like to be on the receiving end of getting a hello from an old friend who was in town during Christmas. Not only did he say hello, he also had a gift for me to remind me of the old days. I sure miss the hustling and gaming and the many many hi-jinks.

Honestly, I was pretty choked up when I got it. Thanks for remembering.

I must have done something right in my past life.

Last night I went to see the Snowball Classic with my non-dancing friend. I wasn’t planning on going but we were just talking one night and I casually mentioned it to her as something that is pretty big in the  Vancouver dancing community. The next day, she called me up to tell me that she wants to get some tickets for us to go together.

For my dancing friends that read this blog, you may (or may not) have noticed my reduction in my dancing activity. I mean – there was a time when I was doing ballroom and/or going to salsa classes multiple times a week. Honestly, I was in a bit of a burnout of going so hard, nowhere fast.

In a way, it was starting to have a similar feel to my startup-attempts a while ago: a lot of grind and energy spent without much results or much to show for. I was starting to feel like a robot shuffling from class to class and not having as much fun as when I started.

I still enjoy the friendships that I have made throughout my dancing activities. And most absolutely, I will go out for the occasional social outing. I mean, aren’t you dying to go dancing at Robson Square this summer? However, I won’t be pushing myself just for the sake of pushing myself. I am just going to keep it fun for myself.

I mean, there are so many other things to try and do right?