desperate for change

Did anybody watch Google World on CBC?

If you follow the online grapevines and feeds, there would be nothing in this documentary that would be particularly shocking or new. In fact I would say that quite a lot of it is just old news. However, I did find the part about the beginnings of the company interesting. Upon discovering that they had the magic formula for determining search relevance using a system cobbled together with spare computers and cheap parts, it was a matter of going all out and taking the idea to the end.

For the true academic, he or she might have been satisfied with publishing a paper and getting a PhD. Fortunately for Larry and Sergey (and fortunately for users of Google today), they set out to see how far the rabbit hole goes.

“I think to build a great company you need to have a well defined hypothesis based on a theory for a market’s evolved future. And I think the most effective way to enter that market is to build a company like a scientist testing the theory. As an experiment.”
-Dustin Curtis on The Science of Entrepreneurship

At the heart of all entrepreneurial efforts are experiments to test out different kinds of theories: Can I provide something of value? Can I build it with a minimal defect rate? Are there people interested in what I am offering? Can I make money out of this (which in Google’s case wasn’t even an issue at the beginning!)?

I have followed some rabbit holes in my days – going to grad school, starting new hobbies, online dating, starting a blog. Some have turned out to be more interesting than others. If I give some advice to a younger Alfred – go down rabbit holes, and don’t be afraid to go all the way to the end; who knows maybe a Wonderland of some kind is at the bottom.

(PS – I originally came across Dustin Curtis’s blog and essays through Hacker News. There is a Seth Godin-ness about the writing, if you enjoy that kind of thing.)

It was recently pointed out to me the irony of the title of my blog.

“If you are so desperate for change, how well do you respond to other people trying to change you?”

This was particularly in the context of your significant other.

This is obviously a delicate question. The fact is – I don’t respond very well at all.

The hardest thing in the world to do, is to change somebody. For myself, I automatically detect the change attempt and all kinds of defense mechanisms kick in. As a kid, I hated being told what to do and would prefer to do things myself.

However, there are some legitimate changes that I actually want to do with myself. I have a bunch of “New Year’s Resolutions” that I keep up to date all throughout the year. Wouldn’t someone reminding me about them help me carry these items out?

Ultimately the motivation must come from the inside, not externally. Otherwise, your will to follow through will stop once someone stops reminding you. In fact, you may become annoyed with this person, even though he or she is really trying to help you.

If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up people to collect wood and don’t assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.

(That’s a quote from the author of “Le Petit Prince“, Antoine de Saint-Exupery.)

You have to do a root cause analysis to get to your rational for doing what you want to do and change things from the inside out. This is what Anthony Robbins refers to as changing what we link to pain and pleasure. As long as eating junk food gives you pleasure, no amount of nagging will make you think otherwise. Instead, you must link pleasure to eating healthy and link pain to junk food which is filling up your body (or your temple) with filth and garbage.

But back to the original topic – of how I should respond to someone trying to make a change in me. I think that it is important to open your ears to listen (which I do). Then it is necessary to internalize what was said and see if it converts into action.

Easier said than done, haha…