• On the way down, the customs officer asked who my passenger was. I said that she was my girlfriend. Then he asked how long have we known each other. I said since November; then I asked if it was too soon to go on a trip to Oregon together. He smirked and handed us back our passports.
• The drive down took as long as advertised. There were the occasional mini-jams.
• We navigated Portland using a combination of Google Map printouts, tourist brochures and a mapbook. I probably should have borrowed my brother’s GPS. (When I got back home he was wondering why I didn’t ask him for it.)
• Powell’s Bookstore was my mecca.
• Woodburn was the outlet of choice. Did I mention that Oregon has no sales tax.
• Japanese food is interpreted slightly differently than that of Vancouver. I mean, what would you call a BC roll in Portland?
• The King of Roads through the Columbia Gorge was very scenic.
• Newport was our home base on the coast. We got a room with a view of the ocean. This was a lot warmer than braving the very strong Pacific winds.
• Whenever I was on the beach, I had two thoughts: how beautiful the view was, and whether I can acquire some property.
• Food service at restaurants was excellent. Food was very good. Seafood was good too. When Frommer’s give it a star, it’s worth checking out.
• I was carrying a Lululemon grocery bag, exiting a restaurant. Random girl: “Lululemon!” Me: “Yes? Are you from Vancouver?” Girl: “Yes!” Me: “I guess we’ll start carrying Lululemon instead of wearing Canada flags, eh?”
• Who on earth would bike the Oregon coast highway? You are so exposed and naked to the elements and the speeding cars!
• Florence sand dunes was like being in the desert.
• Cannon Beach was very pretty.
• Seaside’s beach at night allowed people to have little bonfires on the beach. We didn’t have any wood handy unfortunately.

I wouldn’t mind going down again.

“If you are so desperate for change, how well do you respond to other people trying to change you?”

This was particularly in the context of your significant other.

This is obviously a delicate question. The fact is – I don’t respond very well at all.

The hardest thing in the world to do, is to change somebody. For myself, I automatically detect the change attempt and all kinds of defense mechanisms kick in. As a kid, I hated being told what to do and would prefer to do things myself.

However, there are some legitimate changes that I actually want to do with myself. I have a bunch of “New Year’s Resolutions” that I keep up to date all throughout the year. Wouldn’t someone reminding me about them help me carry these items out?

Ultimately the motivation must come from the inside, not externally. Otherwise, your will to follow through will stop once someone stops reminding you. In fact, you may become annoyed with this person, even though he or she is really trying to help you.

If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up people to collect wood and don’t assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.

(That’s a quote from the author of “Le Petit Prince“, Antoine de Saint-Exupery.)

You have to do a root cause analysis to get to your rational for doing what you want to do and change things from the inside out. This is what Anthony Robbins refers to as changing what we link to pain and pleasure. As long as eating junk food gives you pleasure, no amount of nagging will make you think otherwise. Instead, you must link pleasure to eating healthy and link pain to junk food which is filling up your body (or your temple) with filth and garbage.

But back to the original topic – of how I should respond to someone trying to make a change in me. I think that it is important to open your ears to listen (which I do). Then it is necessary to internalize what was said and see if it converts into action.

Easier said than done, haha…

The article or blog post that I was reading was talking about how friendships develop. It talks about how when growing up, our friends and social circle is determined by the institutions that we belonged to, namely schools. Whether it be elementary school, high school or university, you make friends with the people in your classes. Your commonality with the friends made in this era was mostly the fact that you take the same bus together and make fun of a certain science teacher.

What happens when you graduate and move on from school? Some friendships can endure the transition and grow together with you. Some friendships grow apart as we all find our own path and institutions.

The article (the reference to which I can’t remember), mentions that as adults, we are and should no longer be bound by our institutions and we should be able to find and keep the friends who we really really like and enjoy, rather than just make friends just based on the circumstances of being in the same math class. I mean, who really enjoys math anyways? Okay I DO I DO, *hand shoots up*. Well, after Computer Science classes that is.

I think that part of growing up and growing old is this natural ebb and flow of people in our lives. In small villages where life is more static, this is less so. But in a modern city, especially with the ever prevalent job-changing (by choice or not), people will come into our lives as well as fade from importance. I personally feel guilty about the latter: suddenly one day you are having coffee in the morning and then you think of someone you haven’t talked to in a long time. Then you suddenly have an awkward feeling about being out of touch for so long. You feel so awkward that you can’t bring yourself to pick up the phone or hit send on the email.

Or at least that’s how I feel.

Now let me tell you what it’s like to be on the receiving end of getting a hello from an old friend who was in town during Christmas. Not only did he say hello, he also had a gift for me to remind me of the old days. I sure miss the hustling and gaming and the many many hi-jinks.

Honestly, I was pretty choked up when I got it. Thanks for remembering.

I must have done something right in my past life.

I haven’t gotten around to doing all the things that I should have been doing. I feel like I am on the brink of dropping the ball on something important. Sure, I have my to-do list on my computer but day-to-day, the inertia of having to turn on my computer to look at it is leaving me pretty ineffective.

I think back to when I was in high school: I was getting things done left and right and never felt like I had any “open loops.” I suppose that as a part of becoming an adult, we start to carry more and more projects and responsibilities. The system that worked for me as a student is no longer effective.

If this is the first time you’ve heard about “Getting Things Done,” a quick google should lead you to many praises and props about GTD. I just got the book and I am getting a high just from the thought of getting organized and productive. Maybe I’ll get a little more regular with my blogging again!

In my previous post, I mentioned that I bought a used car. The timing was such that it coincided with the start of the hypercube contest. I actually didn’t mention what kind of car it was.

AlfredMobile the Second – aka Da Cherry Bomb – aka a red 1998 Honda Prelude (not exactly as pictured; mine is sans mags and sans spoiler.) The major selling point was that it had pretty low kilometres. The draw for me was obviously the bad boy/ricer image associated with driving one of these. The previous owner took good care of it – the only mod on the vehicle was having it lowered. (Heaven forbid the things people do in the name of moding a car.)

The positives: it is red; it has kick when I need it.

The negatives: it only can take premium gasoline which is a whole 12 cents more than regular; it is lowered so i feel every single manhole that I drive over; there is really not much room in the back so this is really a two seater.

You might say – surely Alfred, you’ve considered the consequences of owning this vehicle before you bought it right? Yes, most certainly. It is fun to dress up differently and pretend to be someone else for a while. But at some point you have to realize that you are you. Nothing more, nothing less. If someone is going to judge you based on your ride (or lack thereof), then so be it.

So at this point you might ask: so Alfred, who are you, really? What kind of ride is your kind of ride?

I know for sure that a boring plain vehicle isn’t me; my first car was a plain silver Honda Civic. It is the default ride of choice in Vancouver. I am someone that likes to stand out.

I know that a flashy vehicle isn’t me either; I am a quirky kinda of guy and a beamer doesn’t fit my image.

Shocking to say, but I was having a serious debate about whether I really want to win a Cube or not. This decision will be in the hands of the judges soon – should I win a Cube, I will gladly be selling off the Prelude to a more fitting owner. If I don’t win a Cube, that is fine also – I shall have different kinds of adventures with Cherry Bomb.

But deep deep down, I really want to win a Cube – so that I have a chance to really show off my dance moves at the awards ceremony. Life’s been pretty busy for me during the past month so I haven’t had a chance to do a better dance video; but I definitely haven’t slacked off with the classes taught by the best salsa teacher in Vancouver.

I’ve got something else to say about this contest: I am an introvert, through and through. While I am able to talk to random strangers (as seen in my hypercube promo video), it really is out of character for me. I am more at ease browsing books at the library than mingling at a party. For the sake of the contest, I thought about just flipping over to being a “crazy” extrovert, running down streets harassing random people but you know what? That just isn’t me at all. Or minimally it would take about three drinks before that happens. (PS don’t drink and drive.)

I merely will give you, the hypercube judges, plain old Alfred: likes to read, likes to dance (but hates to ask girls to the dance floor), probably more quirky than cool, is friendly but tend to enjoy peace and quiet, has some computer skills but not the kind you can use to make groovy graphics. I think that trying to pretend to be someone else for the last while has been fun, but I am just me and I am cool with that.

“Hi, John. This is Alfred.”

“Hey how are you doing? Did you get the car inspection report from BCAA?”

“Yes, it looks good. There are some items but they are pretty minor.”

“So are you still interested in the car? People have been calling me up and and I told them that it’s already been sold. And also, you paid for the car inspection – so you are committed right?”

“Well, about that – listen. I like the car, but I can’t buy it.”

“What? Why?”

“I’m in this car give away contest and right now I have a 1 in 10 chance at winning a car for free.”

“What is this?”

<Insert explanation of hypercube contest, about how I made it into the top 500.>

“Are you f-king with me? You serious?”

“Yep. I’m real sorry about taking up your time.”

“Your loss buddy. Let me know if you change your mind.”

KIDDING!  That’s not what really happened.

The real story: I bought a car on Saturday. You hardcore hypercubers might stop voting for me at this point but hear me out.

My life’s got to go on. I can’t drive around in one-tenth of a car. I am currently a car-coop member, but I need to be more mobile than this. I’ve got people to see things to do.

Take this weekend: I finished moving back home; I met up with a girl from Plenty of Fish for the first time IRL; I went salsaing on Saturday night; I went to check out a church in the neighbourhood (okay, I walked for this); I went shopping with Mom; I went to bachata class at Dance Addicts; then I went to salsa class with Alfonso Caldera, who happens to be the best salsa teacher in the Lower Mainland, in my humble opinion.

So yes, I really did buy the car in question. Names and details have been changed dramatically to protect the innocent.

So what about hypercube? I have been thinking pretty seriously about this as well. I mean there is a real possibility (9 in 10) of NOT getting a Cube. In which case, all that effort will be for naught. However, if we decide that the journey is more important than the destination – then we will all be winners, no matter whether you go home with a free car or not.

For myself, I am taking this hypercube contest as a challenge to myself. I have probably spent far too much time moping and doping on my computer at home. I really need to get out and about a whole lot more. To that end, I shall be slightly more proactive about calling people up and getting out and about. For this purpose, I actually need to have car to facilitate this.

And yes, I will continue to admire and pimp my fellow hypercubers whom I have taken a fancy to (in a platonic non-creepy kind of way). Here are some of my fav. I’ve included links to their hypercube canvases in case you want to throw some love their way:

Tha PHLASH – I love the anime inspired urban art work. Much more stuff on his website.

Mark Stevenson – Gets straight up props from coming from the same land as Anne of Green Gables. But we’ll give him some minor points for getting a radio interview and setting up cubeclub.ca.

CubeMAN – Anyone running the city like a Transformer gets my vote.

SunnyCrittenden – I am still not sure how to describe her special ability. I have previously pimped her as having “so much personality that it oozes out of her pores.” But I’ll let you be the judge of that when you check out her blog.

Ohaiqtpie – Okay she’s a cutie pie and I might want to be not so platonic with her (haha – kidding). I like the idea of supporting fellow Vancouverites. (Richmond counts.)

Maria Petersen – I feel sorry for her, living in Surrey and everything. (Okay – really really kidding now!)  You have to live out here to get this one.

There might be a few more – but these are my regulars for now (i.e. my daily voting routine). If you are voting for me, please send them some of your love too!

Actually, it is quite likely you haven’t heard the news because the car company is eschewing mainstream media advertising (billboards, TV, full page spreads) and instead trying to use social media (Facebook, Twitter, etc.) to promote the Cube. From the March 20, 2009 article in the Globe and Mail:

The winning 50 … will be those judged to be “the most aligned with the brand.”

The contest has two phases. An “open casting call” was initially done whereby anyone can enter. From this batch of entries, the contestants were narrowed down to 500 people. At which point (if you are in), you have a 1 in 10 chance to win a Cube.

And yes, I managed to score a coveted spot in the final 500.

At this point in the contest, the final 500 will be asked to create a profile/MySpace-like page to showcase themselves and let the judges and voting public know why they should be worthy of a Cube.

I feel like I am filling out a profile for an online dating website. Mildly awkward but you just do it anyways, hoping to catch some fishies.

There is a voting component to this contest – so I also need to pimp myself appropriately – and hope no one remembers any negative karmic deeds of the past.

This contest is a piece of cake to participate – but not so easy to win. I seem to be taking on the likes of this dude – who managed to get himself on the local radio station. Or how about a chick that’s totally oozing personality out of her pores. Introverts are at a serious disadvantage in this contest – I’m not complaining – it is just the nature of this contest.

So – I am representing the nerdy introverted guys out there. You know – just a little bit awkward because sitting all day at a computer deteriorates your ability to talk to people. A small price to pay for a software greatness – but we’ll save that for another post.

Please vote for me when the polls open tomorrow (I’ll put up a link once I figure out how they’re setup). You are allowed to vote once per day. A BIG thanks in advance!

My old car was a ’99 Honda Civic. While I do have fond memories of AlfredMobile 1, I do remember the ghetto-ness of manually operated windows. It was a reliable vehicle but it wasn’t a something that evoked any emotions that I seem to get when compared to other vehicles.

The current top non-Cube choice is a used Honda Accord Coupe of some kind. Leather seats if possible. This is the sportiest mid-life crisis car I can responsibly consider these days. Then, I’ll pretty much have no excuses to be home so much. Things to do. People to see. Salsa to dance. The internets will have to do without me for a while.

(I am guessing that I can’t buy any used Nissan Cubes at this point in time.)

• I have met women who say that they would absolutely not date a guy who is still living at home. I think that this line of thinking is rather narrow and is not really as mainstream as I originally thought; pretty much all my high-school guy friends lived at home until they got married. This is definitely not a factor in relationship and dating success.
• Related to the previous point: While I (aged 33) feel more confident and is more attractive than my younger self (say aged 23), I honestly have not matured emotionally to handle relationships. However, I think that I am starting to have a much better understanding of my weakness (tendency to fall too hard, too fast, too easily). I instinctively know this and watch myself but I can’t save myself every single time. Dear friends, as a plea to you, please smack me hard if you see me starting to get crazy.
• Related to previous point: I think this is precisely why I don’t like social dancing too much (except with my people I already know). On the other hand, I really enjoy the proper structure and routine of a regular dance class.
• The economic conditions are getting hella scary. Because I am month-to-month with my landlord, I plan to talk to him and move out at the end of April. Yes, moving back home. Mom will be thrilled.
• I think that the non-car lifestyle is having an adverse effect on my social skills atrophy. I don’t go out and see friends as much as before. Part of the moving back home plan would involve me eventually getting a car again. And I really need to see real humans more often.
• I have become a pickier eater than before. Eating my own cooking has warped my appetite. (Cooking and preparing meat is a real hassle.) I think that my body is starting to become vegetarian and is starting to reject meat on some occasions.
• I think that in the last years or so, I have gotten arrogant in my ways; it is hard to describe but it wasn’t obvious until I mess up big time. I am going to try to embrace a more humble point of view. Instead of comparing my strengths to other people’s weaknesses, it is more educational to compare my weaknesses to other people’s strengths. The former is about self-satisfaction; the latter is about growth and learning. As much as I want to be some kind of self-help guru, I am not even close. However, I feel that my messing up can minimally serve as an example of what not to do. In that regard, I think that there is some value in my writings.
• I am happy and grateful for good friends and family, for being employed in this economic climate, for dancing, for Internets, for a life that’s really not too shabby when you look at the glass half-full. I am definitely grateful for life lessons – certainly makes for more interesting blog posts.

While this hasn’t exactly been a Walden kind of adventure, the last 365 days have been interesting.  What new adventures will the next 365 days bring?

So at lunch time today, I was just leaving Brentwood Mall when I was approached by a man in the parking lot. If you have to ask me to describe how he looks, I would say that he reminds me of Cypher from the Matrix – so much so that I wondered if he is going to turn me over to the machines. He seemed friendly so I figured that there would be no harm talking to him.

He was asking for directions to Champlain Mall and apparently his GPS wasn’t able to give him the directions. I am a visual guy so I ended up drawing a map on an index card and talked him through the right/left turns needed. (Yeah, I just happen to carry index cards with me – inspired by the Hipster PDA.)

Is there any point to this story? 

Honestly, I had a tingle of “fight-or-flight” when he first approached me. I guess that it is an automatic reaction built into my system to keep my safe from the boogeyman gangsters in our city. I wasn’t panicking or anything but his looking like Cypher probably didn’t help.

I think that I have always had a bit of FoF response whenever I get approached by strangers. Because I don’t want to provoke an FoF response in other people, I tend not to be so much an initiator in social situations. This is really just plain silly and I should reprogram myself (or de-program if you want to look at it from a different perspective). It probably doesn’t help that my job involves sitting quietly in front of a computer and I am on the computer again when I get home.

Question: is social skills atrophy an issue in the software industry? I know it doesn’t affect everyone to the same degree but I am pretty certain that it can take its toll. I just might have to join Toastmasters again or something to get my mouth moving.